Monday, November 15, 2010

No more depression for me

Today is one of those days the negative thoughts are just a coming left and right. I'm human, I have feelings, I get tired, I feel like things aren't working out for me, I feel like people take advantage of my kindness and good heart. I feel under appreciated.  If I let myself, my brain can keep it coming and get in the 'poor pitiful me' frame of mind.  After a few minutes I catch myself and remember all the good and the blessing in my life.  This kind of day doesn't happen that often, but I am human with feelings and a heart.  I really don't like to feel so selfish and negative, but I reach my so called, 'limit' and I have to get on the phone and spill my guts usually to one of my friends, meaning they have  to exercise their patience and lend me their ear to hear me out and agree with me while I spill my beans.

 A number of years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and reluctantly ended up taking anti-depressants for a while. The drugs helped me stay on an even emotional keel, I couldn't really cry, nor could I get real happy. Strange, but it helped me stopped crying every day. But something amazing happened- I got healed! Yes, I really was healed of depression-no more drugs or counseling sessions and my healing had nothing to do with the medical profession. Let me tell you how I got healed.

One evening after work some friends invited me to go with them to a tent meeting being held by a traveling evangelist, named Reverend LeRoy Jenkins. I had never heard of him, but my friends wanted to go so, we ate at a restaurant first, then went to this tent meeting which was under a nice, huge tent and would be going on in the evenings for about a week,  I learned.  I had never been to a tent meeting, but I went along to watch and be a part of what happened with my friends. (one friend had health issues and wanted Rev. LeRoy Jenkins to touch her and be healed, so she sat on an isle seat the second row from the stage). There must have been were well over two hundred in attendance- it was a nice crowd and turned out to be a very interesting evening.

Under the tent
                                      Photo credit: bosela from

Let me sum it up. First, there was singing, then some preaching, then healing. LeRoy Jenkins sounds like Elvis when he's singing.  The entire experience was interesting- LeRoy Jenkins to my surprise came over the seats to me, he took my hand and lead me into the isle. Holding his hand felt so safe and secure. I remember thinking to myself, 'don't let go of my hand, his hands felt wonderful and I never wanted him to let go of my hands'. He told me the very phrase of words that when I hear them, I'm at ease.  He had no way of knowing that phrase of words was what I longed for someone to tell me.  And when he prayed for me, I literally felt the spirit of depression lift from my shoulders. I felt the heavy weight and claws unleash from my shoulders and leave me. I didn't know that's what was weighing and pressing down on me. But once that depression lifted, I realized that heavy weight upon my shoulders had been making me feel so tired every day and depressing me for years.  That very moment I knew I was healed of depression. The heaviness was gone and I felt light and free from head to toe.  I accepted my healing, and thanked God and Rev. Jenkins,  and I will not receive that spirit of depression back again. No way. Depression is awful. I've been there and I will not accept it back. Praise God for my healing that evening! There were others who received healing, too. that evening and I returned for the next few evenings and took other friends with me. I can tell you it was very real -  when I left that meeting I never needed to take another anti-depressant - I had been set free. And that's a wonderful feeling.

I'm free from depression. Some days I get overwhelmed and need to let my feelings out. So I'm grateful and thankful for my healing and for my friends and for God who sustains me and understands when I need to vent my feelings. It doesn't mean I'm getting depressed or losing it.  Sometimes, I wonder would I still be dealing with depression if it weren't for my friends inviting me to go to a tent meeting back in 1998 with them to hear LeRoy Jenkins with the gift of healing and knowledge.  I am forever grateful and that experience opened my eyes to that which we can't see with our eyes, the unseen spirits, still has an impact upon us.  That was an eye opening experience and lesson to me that if you're open to receive the blessings of God, you just might get your blessing. And that spirits can and affect us in body and mind. Not all conditions can be solved by doctors and drugs.

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