Thursday, July 12, 2012

Trial marriage anyone?

 Trial marriage? What is this world coming to?  In Mexico, trial marriage may soon be available- making try-out-a-spouse legal to test if a 2-year trial run spouse works for ya.  I wonder if there's an exchange of vows at a trial marriage ceremony, and if so, maybe the vows go something like this-  'I promise to give you two trial test-years of my life as your beloved, and at the conclusion of our two year trial marriage contract, you or I can decide if two year marriage made us both happy and is worth going forth, or we can agree to end our trial marriage peacefully with no hard feelings, beloveds no more. With that said and both agreeing to,  let's give it a trial run, so help us God." Then, the couple is declared trial husband and trial wife. May they live happily for the duration of their contract.

After the two years are up, there's no need for a divorce. Just part and go separate ways. Pack you things and off you go, the trial marriage is over, no divorce papers to sign. Doing it this way, the divorce rate will decrease because it's eliminated. Just walk away free and clear to decide upon a trial  marriage with someone else  or until you find someone and your both decide it's the right trial spouse and you want to make it a permanent spouse and marriage rather then a trial one. 

Marriage has been reduced to sampling different pairs of shoes until you find just the right fit.

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Marriage is by definition a union, a joining together.  God created marriage to blend and connect two people together into one. ONE. You wouldn't want to sever your own arm or head or heart because it's joined with the other parts making you one complete body.  Marriage is supposed to be like you're super-glued together with the intention of never becoming unstuck from your spouse  What kills most marriages is jumping into a marital relationship without giving much thought or importance to what's required and involved  to maintain an exciting, thrilling, alive and happy marriage.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Marriage requires daily effort on each party,  and that's the problem.  Many do not fully realize what is going to be required in a marriage before saying their vows.  Then, when it's discovered that give and take, communication, understanding and forgiveness is to be provided,  they aren't ready to give that,  so the marriage suffers.  Trial marriages brings the holy sanctity of marriage down to the level of short-term flings, which never do last.

A marriage was initially meant for the bonding and joining a man and female together to become one in the sight of God, to reproduce themselves and raise and nurture their children in the knowledge of God, to continue generation after generation.  Marriage is not to be taken lightly and marriage is much more than a legal means to bed with someone.  I understand there's a high percentage of divorces in Mexico, but children born of the union, now confused, have to become accustomed to their parents, once together, now separated.  It really is a shame that grown people do not realize innocent children born in a marriage are the one's suffering the most from their parents divorcing.  Couples should keep this in mind, being firmly committed with  a rock solid marriage first before deciding to bring children into the mix.  Marriage is supposed to be a commitment in which you never give up to make it a permanent union.

So, is trial marriage the answer? I see this as a legal way to change sleeping partners every two years and skip having to pay a divorce attorney.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

For Sheena

On June 21st, I got news that Ira, my Pastor's oldest son, was dead. At first I thought my hearing was bad, but no, it was true.  Ira Anthony Walton, named after his father, at 33 years of age, was with the Lord.

The very moment Ira took his last breath, angels escorted him, his spirit, into the presence of the Lord. Ira is free from his earthly body, and now amongst the angels in heavenly places.

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A numb feeling came all over me.  I believe every person had that same feeling sweep over them when they first heard of the tragic news.  Ira was and will always be well loved.  Ira was a one-of-a- kind, real special young man,  and I think I speak for many in saying anyone could sense there was something extraordinary about Ira within a few minutes of meeting him. He had 'what we're all seeking in our own lives' going on, and inner happiness that couldn't help but ooze out, and his happiness with life shined brightly for all to see.

I've thought of his family, already missing his presence. His Father and Mother and brother and oh, his twin sister.  They all must be devastated.  But most of all, I thought of Ira's wife, Sheena.  She was the one he'd given his love and his heart to.  She caught his eye. and he married her 10 years ago.  Sheena has it going on, too. The both of them were no doubt one very, special couple. They were young, and very much in love, and very happy together- it was obvious without a doubt.

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Sheena, I see you being strong for your four children. But I also know you miss your husband very much. I know this was all unexpected. You and Ira had so much planned for your dear family's future and it was coming true.  But, Ira, being realistic and wise, made sure his family would be cared for, just in case. His love for you and four little ones is very evident, even now.

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I know you're probably not wanting any thanks for being strong in public and looking like all is fine. I can only imagine, how much your heart grieves in the night when you reach out and the other side of the bed is empty. I can only imagine how deep your grieving might be. My heart grieves with you. And if I'm correct, your grieving is shared by many others whom Ira touched.  Your husband was one special man, but to you, a special friend, confidant, provider, protector, husband, companion, lover, and father of your children.

Sheena, you and Ira were about important business of raising your children and serving God together. That was very obvious that you were a strong, together team, and something you can always hold dear and special within your heart. Your children are some of the best-mannered and respectful children I have every met. That's why I've enjoy bringing  little gifts and would like to spend time with them this Summer in the kitchen creating some eatables. Your children are a joy to be around.  They are a direct reflection upon how you and their father spent quality time teaching them manners. Be very, very proud of that.  And most important, your children have a firm foundation in their relationship with the Lord, again a direct reflection upon their parents. It is so wonderful that all your family is saved, and I'm certain little Isaac will follow the same path.  And, I'm certain within your heart, knowing Ira is 'Home', and you will see him again, gives you a sense of pleasure.Your family is now even more special as Ira is in heaven overlooking you all and no doubt himself filled with such amazement exploring heaven in the Lord's presence.

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Ira, will live on in our hearts. He is missed, but for a short while. We all look forward to meeting again on the other side. His work and yours will continue on in your children and in you. He made an impact upon my life as well, in giving me an example of what a devoted, young, Christian family looks like.  Thank you. And may God continue blessing your family abundantly.

 With my sincerest respect and admiration,  Katrina